Solo Baecae #1

The Grand Canyon, February 2019

Unfortunately, Bae could not attend this baecation thanks to Ole Donny and the Wall-less Shutdown. Her presence was sorely missed, but I was still able to have a good time with some excellent people!

The plan for this trip was to hike down to Phantom Ranch and stay in the Grand Canyon for 2 nights. Bae and I did this two years ago with a similar crew and it was a great time, even though I had a pretty severe fever throughout…

ANYWAY, this trip again was lead by the fearless T-Pine, who co-owns and operates Tripod Outfitters along with his lovely partner, The Cell. T-Pine and The Cell purchased all of the food for the trip, and as you will read about, we ate like kings/queens/sheens/zings.

That up there is a photo of all of the deliciousness.

While it was fun packing and getting ready for the trip, our hangout in Flagstaff the evening before game time was enshrouded by a heavy layer of knowing the weather forecast for that next day…Google was calling for rain pretty much all day. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to be wet unless I am jumping off a boat on porpoise.

Day 1

There were 12 of us total who would begin the journey. In addition to myself, T-Pine, and The Cell, I was reunited with longtime friends, JK Haiku and Big Sean. It seems whatever I am doing that involves these two dudes is a damn good time. Accompanying T-Pine and The Cell were Volk Hogan and MegrollinInDaDeep, who were a hilarious couple well-versed in the art of acrobatics. One of them had an amazing mustache. Finally, meeting us at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon were T-Pine’s family and friends, Brother Cribbage, Rikjitsu, Aquaman, Navajo, and Firemarshal Bill.

After a carb-loading session in the parking lot, we began our journey to the bottom of the canyon! The weather was foreboding, but no rain had yet fallen. My pack only weighed 62lbs this time, much lighter than the 65 lber I brought down on the previous trip. I even brought the same amount of beer, so I must have found some super smart way to save 3 lbs!!!

As you can see from those two amazing photos I took above, it was a grim start.

The way down, as always, was fun as hell and fairly easy. Gravity has no problem pushing you down into the canyon. We were just throwin’ a few back, having a good time, catching up, and getting to know each other. Some of our crew hadn’t been backpacking before and they just absolutely crushed it!

Most importantly, it did not rain on the way down!!! Here are some views on the way down:

Here is the hike down

As soon as we hit the bottom, we started feeling some rain drops, which sent us into frenzy mode to set up our tents as quickly as possible and arrange for our bags and gear to stay dry. However, as soon as the rain started, it stopped! This allowed us to cook and eat dinner under mostly dry conditions. Another bullet dodged! After we ate, we all exchanged Haikus. That’s not a euphemism or a joke, that’s literally what we did, and that’s when I found out we were quite the creative bunch!

As perviously mentioned, T-Pine packed a lot of delicious food. We ate luxurious meals while down in the canyon. Our first meal was some sort of delicious baked potato soup that was perfect for an almost rainy evening. After eating, we went to the canteen that’s down in Phantom Ranch, right by the campground. They have cold beer for sale, which we all took part in. I played Cribbage with T-Pine, Brother Cribbage, and Rikjitsu while the rest of the squad played this game called “Farkle”. It was some sort of dice game that you apparently yell “Farrrkleeeee!” a lot.

Because the canteen closes at 2200, which is also when quiet hours are for the campground, we had to move elsewhere to continue to party. One great hangout spot is the Silver Bridge which crosses the Colorado River.

This place is far enough from the campground that the sound of the river drowns out all potential debauchery. We had a good time hanging out here, but around 2330, the rain really started going. After a few minutes of a steady fall, it was time to panic and get to our hopefully dry tent.

It’s at this time that I should mention a quick conversation I had earlier in the day with JK Haiku, my good friend and tent mate, regarding the robustness of my tent rain fly. You see, when we set up this tent, the rainfly didn’t seem to adequately cover the front of the tent. This was a $25 tent I got from Academy in 2014, so it’s not surprising that things don’t seem to work very well anymore. Anyway, what was pointed out as a potential tent flaw rang true once that rain started going. As we lay in the tent, rain pounding on all sides, the front of the tent that was unprotected from the rain fly began dripping very near my sleeping bag. We rolled up the front of the tent to bring it safely beneath the rain fly, but then a puddle began to form on the some of the rolls, bringing in more water.

We took in water from the front and the sides, but my extra clothes/sleeping bag were able to absorb most of the moisture, so we stayed pretty dry. Also, because it was raining, it was nice and warm throughout the night. So even though we experienced some dampness, we were nowhere near cold. Unfortunately, the same could not be said about our dear friend, Aquaman.

Day 2

Despite only sleeping about 5.5 solid hours thanks to some of the rain panic, I felt great waking up at the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a good day of R & R ahead. When I woke up, Volk Hogan was already up making some coffee and assessing any potential flood damage around the camp. Because he had set up a tarp over our bags, everything was pretty dry.

However, Volk Hogan broke the unfortunate news that Aquaman, who was staying at the group site with the rest of the gang a few sites down, had experienced total tent failure. Volk Hogan found him in a puddle in the fetal position next to a rolled up tent that did not survive the night. Fortunately, he did survive, and we thank him for His sacrifice to save us from the dampness, as we believed it was His act of valor that held the rain off for the rest of the trip.

This day in the Grand Canyon was one of the most fun days I’ve had in a long time. We started the day with some kickass breakfast burritos made by T-Pine. Then JK Haiku, The Cell, and I went for a run, where we nearly ran into a female bighorn sheep that we had encountered on the way down. Pretty exciting!

After our run, we rendezvoused with the rest of the group for some insane lawn games that we played on the beach. There were two classes of games that we played. The first game involved racing on one’s knees only. Some of us were better at figuring out the technique than others. The second game involved seeing who could place a stick the farthest under some strict rules, e.g., only taking two steps out and back.

For our own viewing purposes, I’ve created a video illustrating these amazing games. T-Pine and the Cell will be marketing the second game. For $40, you get two sticks and a pair of crocs to mark the starting line. What a deal!

Some of the more adventurous people went into the cold Colorado, so I took their picture.

We were getting so lost in our fun games that we forgot that there was this “sporty” hike T-Pine wanted to take us on. This badass hike had us going straight up one of the canyon walls to a place called “Utah Flat”, which is where natives used to live and construct arrowheads.

Here is a map of the hike

According to T-Pine, this flat was an ancient arrowhead making factory, or something. Yeah, pretty sure that’s what he said. There were only the rejects left:

Don’t worry, I didn’t take any, so you can hike up there and find all the same stuff! Volk Hogan also found some scorpions while looking for buried treasure:

And then here are some more pictures I took on the hike:

The Cell also took some sweet pictures:

When we got back from the hike, we drank more, ate more, and then went to the canteen to play more games, feeling like a trillion bucks as we dodged another day of rain. Dinner was a delicious tortellini with pesto and dried tomatoes. Additional Haikus were exchanged.

The second night of the canteen was quite funny. The first night at the canteen was busy, and it took us a while to get everyone seated. There are 3 long tables in the canteen that can hold maybe 15 people each. The second night, being a Sunday night, saw a much thinner crowd. We were able to swiftly drive the crowd out by playing Cards against Humanity. I forget what the exact pairing was, but we drove the last poor old couple out, who were peacefully playing dominos, by shouting some like “necrophilia” and/or “Pacman uncontrollably guzzling cum”. If you’ve played the game before, it makes sense.

Once quiet hours hit, we went straight back to the bridge where there was much rejoicing. Because this night was clear, I actually saw 3 shooting stars. I haven’t seen any since moving to Salt Lake. It felt good!

We went to sleep perfectly dry and happy campers.

Day 3

This was the day we hiked out. We hiked out on Bright Angel trail, which is a deceptive trail. You crush out the first 5.5 miles thinking that you are making amazing time. However, in these first 5.5 miles, you barely climb over 1,000 feet. It’s nearly 5,000 ft you must climb to actually get out of the canyon.

After eating a delicious lunch at Indian Garden campsite, we plowed ahead to The Wall. This is the part of the trail that’s 3 miles of switchbacks where you climb nearly 4,000ft. Volk Hogan charged ahead at the start of the climb, and JK Haiku and I tried to keep up. We were cranking up The Wall at a pretty good pace, and it was feeling good. Some light rain/snow started falling as we got higher up, so there was nothing really to do but keep walking up. With about a mile to go, Volk Hogan passed us going the other direction to check on the rest of the squad. Now you see why I call him Volk Hogan, brother.

Big Sean and I pushed ahead to reach the top! We immediately went to the bar to drink some delicious stouts while we waited for the rest of the group. Even though we were dragged along by Volk Hogan at such a quick pace, the rest of the group was able to pretty much hang. Big Sean and I hardly had to wait an hour before the rest of the squad made it up. We took a lovely group photo:

It was at this point that I had to say goodbye to the squad and drive back to Salt Lake City. I drove through a blizzard, so that sure was fun. Snow tires paid for themselves. Only cost me a grand to save my own life!!!

Even though it was only a short time I got to spend with these amazing people, we were able to smash in months worth of fun! Looking forward to the next trip, T-Pine!