July 14 – Luzern

It was another amazing day in Switzerland as the 3 of us took a journey to Lucerne to explore the first Swiss city ever made (pretty sure…look it up). Like a lot of Suisse cities, this baby is next to a lake and the Alps:

I’ll tell you what, kids, these Alps are no joke. Hannibal was definitely a chump to take his elephants through these to try and conquer Rome. Should have had a better hobby…

The first thing we did when we got to Luzern was hop on the ferry and head on over to this small lake-side village named Weggis. It’s pronounced “Vegas”, or something close enough to warrant plenty of jokes, which I made. The boat ride was great, and we had a picnic when we got there. Here are some shots from that journey:

It seemed like a pretty nice place to do a weekend retreat. People were swimming and paddle boarding, but the water looked wayy too cold for me. I learned my lesson from that damn Bern river.

After our picnic, we caught the ferry back to Luzern to meet up with Betty’s friend Kaisa to watch the soccer match. We watched at this nice cafe right off the dock. We tried to order as few drinks as possible…and mostly succeeded! I got some sort of sick “Spezial Kaffe”, which was coffee, rum, and other nonsense liquors. It was terrible, but took me an entire half to drink so I didn’t spend too much money.

After the game, Kaisa was nice enough to take us on a walking tour of Lucerne! She has been living there for close to a decade, and gave us a fantastic tour! We started by checking out this dude playing a traditional Swiss horn, or something:

Bonus points if you can tell me what that is. Then we saw all kinds of old buildings and stuff!

We even maybe found another statue of Tom Brady, the Baby Eater.

He sure is thinking about it.

I think most of the buildings in this town are from the 1400s, or something like that, but this building pictured below was from like 1292. Nothing lived there but a fake bird and a directTV satellite.

Kaisa then took us to the city wall (never used due to eternal neutrality…), and then up this dope clocktower on the wall. Very cool!!! Thing was ticking away. Some fantstic views from the top:

The best part of the clocktower was the sweet George Washingtons found at the top.

Some more views from the wall:

The final stop on our Kaisa Tour was this great lion carving from the French Revolution thing, or something. Lotta Chinese people were interested in this bad boy.

I’m always exploring the public bathrooms of this country because I drink too many Radlers on the train rides to these places. The bathrooms here at the lion statue were some sort of fucked up Space Shuttle latrine nonsense. No idea how I made it out of this mess:

And that concludes the tour. Here is the a map of the sweet Kaisa tour! It was really awesome of her to hang out with us and show us the town!

Tomorrow we will be doing a similar type of excursion to Laussane, but we will have to hit it with Swiss Army-like efficiency as we need to return in time for the game.

-Babe